Ted is a fictional character by avant-garde group The Residents, first appearing in the 1995 CD-ROM project Bad Day on the Midway. He is voiced by the Mark Morgan
Background[]
Ted is a serial killer who inhabits the Midway. Not many of the other Midway residents know about his past or even much about him, other than the fact that he is Lottie's son. Timmy is the only character he has regular interactions with. When they first meet, Ted tells Timmy that childhood is a "terrible thing", but invites him to Lottie's log cabin to watch her perform. If they meet in the Warehouse in the center of the Midway, Ted will reveal his life story. If they meet in his room in the back of Lottie's log cabin, he will show Timmy his "butterfly collection", which, unbeknownst to Timmy, is actually the skin of his victims compiled with other artifacts.
Life Story[]
Ted presents this story to Timmy as a hypothetical individual, but halfway through the story, he slips and inadvertently reveals this was his own story, which he quickly corrects himself on.
His first memory was seeing his father when he was young and being hit for some unknown reason (it's likely that Ted misinterpreted this as a strike when it really was a pat on the head). He grew quickly to despise his father in favor of deep and powerful love for his mother, Lottie. Although he hated his father, he did show genuine interest in his father's butterfly collection. He couldn't fathom things of beauty being killed, as he hated watching his father pierce the butterflies he would collect.
He remembered seeing a baby bird with a broken wing with a bone protruding from its eye, therefore he decided to crush the bird with a rock, freeing it from pain, as he had adopted the mentality of ugliness indicating the presence of death. Therefore, things he deemed beauty should never be killed, and ugly things he would "liberate". After his father's death, Ted decided to liberate his legacy of ugliness by burning his house down.
It's also heavily implied that Ted murdered Lottie's co-stars at various locations she performed at while they were traveling.
Gameplay Mechanics[]
Early in the game, the player is free to roam locations with little to no risk. However, after a certain amount of time has passed, Ted will appear in one of five specific locations:
- The Warehouse
- Sperm Whale Giving Birth to an Electric Eel
- Dagmar the Dog Woman's Theater
- Torture's Top Ten
- The Three-Headed Abominable Snowman Skeleton Exhibit
No matter what location the player encounters Ted, the process is always the same: Ted will appear and say "Excuse me...", then proceed to placate his victim by shooting a poisonous dart into their forehead, paralyzing them. He then recites the following monologue:
"I'm sure you have no idea why I'm subjecting you to this seemingly cruel and heartless death. Please understand...I take no personal pleasure from the infliction of pain...but I do abhor ugliness...and you ARE ugly. Ugly in the feelings found in your soul, ugly in the thoughts that make up your mind, ugly in the aches that you hold in your heart. But I will liberate you from all this ugliness. I will deliver the peace and serenity unavailable in this cesspool of slime we call a world. It won't last long and...please, feel free to let your mind scream. Death is beautiful. I can only envy your impending freedom. Goodbye, my friend. Goodbye."
As he nears the end during the words "feel free to let your mind scream", the aura around him suddenly turns red, whether this indicates he has an early stage of the Red Rat Plague or some other reason is unknown, but after this encounter, Ted will become inaccessible for the rest of the game.
There are two possible outcomes of an encounter with Ted: the first is if the player does nothing when Ted's eyes fill the screen, it will result in a game over.
The second is if the player uses the cursor icon to switch into Ted's persona, they will see two still images of the character they were just inhabiting, an image is shown of Ted strangling them, and then the game will force the player to resume as Timmy at a random location, who is oblivious to any of the events that have just transpired.
Ending[]
Ted is the only other character besides the IRS Man who is featured in two separate endings. *
If Ted is the sole survivor, the game will "force" him to look at himself in the Eye of the Maniac Funhouse mirror, where he will recite his short death speech monologue, and react accordingly. He sees ugliness within himself, so goes across the way to the Torture's Top Ten ride, attaches a noose to one of the spires on top of the ride, jumps, and hangs himself.
* =Ted's ending can only occur if Jocko is a victim of the plague, not from Ted himself.